Trapped

Have you ever felt like you couldn’t escape? Like not from your life or the home you’ve made with someone but, you couldn’t get out of your own head. No matter how hard you try, you’re stuck in a place that you can’t get out of. You’re trapped in a world where nothing can make anything better, you have to pretend that everything is alright but in the end you’re slowly getting more and more detached from the world around you and you no longer feel pain, sadness, anger or any other emotion. Everyday you try to get better so, one day you’ll go for a walk and that doesn’t work. You try the next day but instead you go for a drive, maybe speed a little to see if it will excite you but, that doesn’t work either. You try a lot of different ways to feel something you even result in self-harm, is this the best option? No, but you don’t care because it made you distract yourself from everything else going on. You get so caught up in wanting to feel that again, so you continue to inflict pain on yourself, why? It makes you feel so good and you say to yourself nothing could ever make me feel this way, so every once in a while you’ll hurt yourself, get that satisfaction and relief you need. Until, one day you have met this person that comes into your life, makes you feel wanted, loved, and like everything is going to be okay and gives you another part of you that you never thought you could love this much. Your baby boy, you no longer want to be stuck in your own head, in your own world or to feel nothing. You enjoy the way your person makes you feel, you’re married, happy and for once in your life you no longer feel…. Trapped.