I feel tired but can’t sleep and it’s getting real deep with these thoughts in mind and images whenever I close my eyes. Everything has me lost and confused, I don’t know what I’m suppose to do with these ideas intertwined like the roots of a vine so deep that I’ve lost time. What am I to do when all I think of is you? Countless times you pop up in my head and not being able to see you leaves me in bed, hopeless when it comes to life but knowing I must survive. I can’t get you out of my head no matter how hard I’ve tried and breaks me down knowing that you’ve died. I try to get over it but it’s stuck with me, when will I see you again? Are you happier than you ever been? Somehow I know this isn’t our end.
Tag Archives: hurt
Temptations
Temptations, one of the minds biggest weaknesses. Right when you think you have it all under control you feel these urges to do the things you convinced yourself not to do. Let’s use a few examples like adultery, alcohol and drug addiction, and even self harm. You were in a dark place once, you got help and have someone in your life that was suppose to be a long term answer to your problems but, things change your life, job, or relationships. Then, your mind starts to wonder “how can I make all of this go away? How can I make this feel better?” The one thing you never wanted to do again because you were happy with your life and didn’t want to ruin it, you go back or are thinking of going back to your old ways of being an adulterer, harming yourself, and using again. You’ve let the temptations get into your head, you’re trying hard not to do those bad things that you worked so hard to get rid of and not to do anymore. Everyone has temptations wether it’s keeping from eating something with too much sugar because you’re on a diet or to not buy too many shoes or clothes from the store. Everyone is tempted by something, we may try to lie and say wee never get tempted with things we really want but can’t have, truth is we do and yes we may feel ashamed or embarrassed but, we’re only human. We wouldn’t be on the road to recovery if we weren’t tempted at first then give ourselves the chance to fight them and only get stronger. Fighting those temptations could only make you stronger and happier because you made it you passed a hard milestone. When you are feeling bad and having these dark thoughts of your worse habits, remember why you stopped doing them, remember the reason you wanted to do better. Be strong.
Trapped
Have you ever felt like you couldn’t escape? Like not from your life or the home you’ve made with someone but, you couldn’t get out of your own head. No matter how hard you try, you’re stuck in a place that you can’t get out of. You’re trapped in a world where nothing can make anything better, you have to pretend that everything is alright but in the end you’re slowly getting more and more detached from the world around you and you no longer feel pain, sadness, anger or any other emotion. Everyday you try to get better so, one day you’ll go for a walk and that doesn’t work. You try the next day but instead you go for a drive, maybe speed a little to see if it will excite you but, that doesn’t work either. You try a lot of different ways to feel something you even result in self-harm, is this the best option? No, but you don’t care because it made you distract yourself from everything else going on. You get so caught up in wanting to feel that again, so you continue to inflict pain on yourself, why? It makes you feel so good and you say to yourself nothing could ever make me feel this way, so every once in a while you’ll hurt yourself, get that satisfaction and relief you need. Until, one day you have met this person that comes into your life, makes you feel wanted, loved, and like everything is going to be okay and gives you another part of you that you never thought you could love this much. Your baby boy, you no longer want to be stuck in your own head, in your own world or to feel nothing. You enjoy the way your person makes you feel, you’re married, happy and for once in your life you no longer feel…. Trapped.
Healthy Mental Life 